In 2014, my cycling coach advised me to ride downtown so she could meet me. One street-crossing away from being at work, a car crunched into my bicycle. The driver got out and was insincerely apologetic, saying that his kids were sick and crying. I declined his offer to call the police because he was a white man and I am a Black woman, and the last time a white person destroyed my mode of transportation, the police were eager to arrest me. This father then continued on with his day, and I found a new bike shop to pay $400 to get my bicycle repaired.
In the picture above in August 2024, I was preparing to put belongings into storage. I had just gotten drinks from Whataburger, and was waiting for pedestrians to cross a street when I was rear-ended. The driver got out, and once again, it was a father saying his kids were crying and screaming, and he was distracted. Despite slamming into me, this father was dead set on saying nothing had happened and demanding that nobody “lie on him.” He provided incomplete insurance information and drove off annoyed. I was then charged $973 for this “accident.”
The reason I point out that these were fathers with screaming and crying children is that I see mothers with out-of-control children all the time. Instead of causing accidents, the mothers yell and express frustration, but they pull over to deal with unhelpful behavior. Mothers are never given a break when driving. Even still, women can pay more than men for insurance, and have to deal with auto mechanics with antiquated ideas around women and driving.
So many older people are complaining that nobody is having children, but nobody is asking men if they are up to further responsibilities. Yes, they want the stereotype of a father driving a family, but no one knows if that man can actually drive while having a family at the same time. Whenever I have had my transportation damaged by a woman, I never had to pay a dime. When damaged by a man, there was a lot of whining and deflection, leaving me to pick up the tab. Perhaps we can save the sitcom fantasies for when every man sees a mess he made, and take responsibility for it.
Chasing A Dying Empire 