Agents of Chaos

Storms are so fascinating to people that there are literally those who created a practice of chasing storms. When standing in sections of a storm, it is difficult to avoid the cold, wind, and everything that comes, good and bad–unless that storm is a hurricane or tornado. In the metaphoric middle of a cyclonic storm, things are loud, but one is able to step back and see what builds the storm and continues to feed it. Once someone knows what fuels the storm and stops offering it, that person tends to see the route to safety and works on escaping. No one knows what to do when the usual debris refuses to fly into the tornado, and everyone is panicking just a little with wondering what people will do next.

When I really struggled with codependence, I had several “friends” who did their level best to keep me exhausted with all their “problems” that they refused to solve. During the 2020 pandemic lockdowns after I lost the capacity to work full-time, I suddenly realized how quiet it was–and how much I liked that. Rather than continuing to be at everyone’s beck and working to placate people, I started giving up on them and stepping away, slowly finding myself and my emotional equilibrium in the process. After I stepped back, they kept contacting me at first, but then they finally got a chance to consider who the real problem was when nobody stayed to help “solve the problem.” I cannot tell anyone what happened to any save one, but they eventually realized that they had been lousy friends, which is why we no longer spoke. For a couple of them, there were “final” conversations, but with those who like to storm, I would advise ghosting because any interaction can look like an invitation to reenter and reconnect.

Politically, Black people have also stepped back from the storm that is politics because of the expectation of expenditure without reciprocity. For many years–different metrics from different starting points–Black people have been, in the words of Stevie Wonder, at the front lines, but we stood in the back of the line when it came to getting ahead. Now people are reviewing all the tactics that we used, and for some reason, only the most visible methods are being remembered–or they are finally seeing how hard it is to organize those that are less visible. However, when Black people finally stood back from the public arena, other folks could finally see if anyone had any solutions other than the many that others have already suggested. We are all still waiting to see after nearly a year of chaos.

In the end, those who have constantly been agents of chaos are able to finally consider how causing chaos and refusing to admit to it will eventually push everyone away, without remorse. Takers have a really bad habit of thinking that everyone will continue giving in to personality quirks, old stories, and a lack of impulse control. Truthfully, nobody is required to stick around and pour more time, energy, and resources into storms that never end, so the rest of us will continue to see what fuels the storms, look for the safe spots, and leave.