Overseer Flattery

Over time worked in the fast food industry, workers get used to seeing the same customers order the same thing under similar circumstances, since sometimes they get there earlier or later in the day. There is a customer who always gets the same breakfast, and offers almost exact change, and this individual is very quiet but very appreciative. Another customer enjoys watching me work, and commented on it almost daily. It should be pointed out that I had a manager who did not like me, and was constantly criticizing me. I never felt comfortable working for that manager, and I whisked around the restaurant to stay away from that individual. However, the customer, who enjoys watching me work, considers it a compliment to see me under constant motion without rest, as if that is the way things should be. Yes, the individual is white, while I am a Black woman.

During one of the watcher’s many visits, the customer beamed at me and said, “You are the kind of person I would love to have working for me.” It always baffles me that people enjoy watching others work even when they themselves are not managing that employee. Why would I consider it a compliment for someone to see me as a potential employee when that individual is not offering me a job? There is nothing unique about enjoying watching Black people work, and it is slightly disturbing during this era that someone would think that such a statement was a compliment. Of course, another thing this customer enjoys is that I cannot say anything contrary, so I am literally required to acknowledge this “compliment” while working under duress. The only good thing about this customer is that they shared their leftovers with an unhoused individual, leading me to believe they can be somewhat aware, and the hostile manager has been removed to another location.

Another statement I have repeatedly received is about how people love my smile, which is a strange compliment to give a grown individual working in service. While I have worked hard to gain my emotional equilibrium after decades of intentional degradation, I do not consider it kind to comment on someone’s smile in an empire that worships fakeness. The only thing people are seeking from Black women is that we are “happy,” which tells them that everything is “right” and “good,” oftentimes because they know that everything is a dumpster fire. A lot of people often want Black women to smile even as they cannot stand our laughter, which is always “too loud,” probably because that is authentic. I cannot in good conscience take someone seriously who admires my smile when I am in public, at work, and required to maintain a “positive” persona to pay my bills and avoid homelessness.

The family of someone I know marveled at construction workers who went to work in the rain, talking about how the behavior was so “humbling.” It reminded me of people who thought migrants were always happy and dancing because they saw a video compilations of people who had clearly been asked to dance. People need to understand that inauthentic displays of joy within the dominant narrative are not honest, and that they are not privy to anyone else’s reality unless someone chooses to share. Overseeing labor and “complimenting” someone on working is not the flex folks think it is, and they should consider whether they are genuinely respecting someone’s efforts, or projecting their expectations of others on people working.