While I was going on my scouting trip last year, I spent a week at a hostel in Lille, and there was one individual who had a lot to say about my ice fixation. As a Black woman, I know that there are a number of people who feel comfortable giving unsolicited advice to me, so generally I do my best to forget them when I can. I arrived on a Monday and left on the following Sunday, and that guy was the one who checked me out, but allowed me to put my belongings in a baggage space for the last couple of hours. When I finally got my stuff, he remarked on how heavy it was, stating that all he carried with him when he traveled was a backpack with hardly anything in it. At this point, I should mention that this was a white man speaking to a Black woman.
It is a special sort of privilege to be bragging about how little someone has as a white man, because unless otherwise stated, it implies that one should have more. Black women are seen as either highly materialistic or having nothing, and either way, people tend to have strong opinions because whatever we do is considered wrong. I could have mentioned that my companion was on a weeklong bike tour, so I had the belongings of two different people. However, I have long-since gotten used to accepting that some people seem to think that I need whatever advice they want to fling at me, so I left it alone.
Simultaneously, his unsolicited advice demonstrated how clueless he was about the expectations people have of BIPOCQ women with the same resources. If I only carried what other women carried, I would likely be at the mercy of strangers, and people have varying responses to Black women traveling alone. There was one time when I was riding my bicycle and got a flat tire, and a Latino cyclist who only spoke Spanish helped me change it on the sidewalk. A white property owner saw us–again, on the sidewalk–and he promptly called the security contractor for the homeowners’ association, who drove up and “checked on” our progress. After that experience, I learned to carry all my own supplies while cycling, and backpacking was no different.
Also, beauty and hygiene materials for Black hair can be hard to find, so we have gotten used to carrying more than most people. I already wore pants to avoid carrying lotion all the time, and I carried the bare minimum of other toiletries. However, because we were on a scouting trip, I could not be sure what I would need because we might have had an opportunity to settle down for a while. I did not want to be looking for more materials as a Black woman in Europe, because I knew that there would be a need for money to solve problems, which I did not have.
This guy’s behavior was also one reason that Black people feel uncomfortable asking for customer service. People have such visceral reactions to Blackness, and even as I wanted to store my belongings for the two hours I waited, I did not want to deal with his attitude about my belongings or me. Fortunately, we live in the age of technology, so I waited with headphones and my smartyphone until it was time to call a ride service and take my bus to Brussels. There are many people with way too much confidence and a lack of impulse control, but I am used to that, wherever I happen to be located.
Chasing A Dying Empire 